Preparing Our Firstborn for the New Baby’s Arrival

Luke and Dylan are almost 4 years apart, which means Luke got a solid 3+ years being the center of attention at our home.

So we’ve been preparing him for his little brother’s arrival since the start of the pregnancy; we let him help fix the nursery, brought him with us to check-ups and prayed together with him for his baby brother. We tried to get him as involved as possible.

But we knew that the day he would actually meet the new baby for the first time would be crucial. So, taking into consideration tips we learned from our friends, here’s how we prepared Luke for his first meeting with Dylan at the hospital!

1. He had his own “Hospital Bag” prepared

Luke saw me prepare my own hospital bag for the delivery. And we decided that he should prepare one for himself too to get him excited about the day. He loves packing because he feels like he’s going on a trip. So it really got him excited about his brother’s arrival!

He packed his current favorite book, a portable activity set (got this from Bright Brands,) his Papershoot camera, a few car toys and his gift for Dylan (that’s the shark toy!)

He also packed a tape measure (his current favorite random item, don’t ask me!) but I was able to convince him that he didn’t really need to bring that to the hospital. Haha.

2. We gave him updates while I was on labor

I started contracting at 2am and we decided to leave for the hospital right away because it was a long drive from where we lived. I quickly scribbled notes on post-its and left it on our glass door where I knew he would see him as he went down for breakfast. He loved the notes so much that as I type this (it’s been 3 weeks,) he still hasn’t taken them out of our glass door!

Because I didn’t give birth until 3:30pm that day, we regularly called him up at home and gave him updates on what was happening.

I initially wanted to bring him with us inside the birthing room to witness everything (I was thinking it could be educational too haha!) but my doctor advised me against it saying kids can be unpredictable and he might touch some medical equipment he shouldn’t be touching. I know Luke is definitely not that type of kid and is very behaved in public places but I decided to just obey. Hehe.

3. He was encouraged to make something for Dylan

So while I was on labor, Luke was at home with his grandma and yaya (nanny) preparing a surprise for me and his little brother. I didn’t ask them to tell Luke to do this. This was all their initiative so all credit goes to them!

Luke decided to make an artwork and wrote our names on it. He was so proud of his work too. He told my husband that he should make sure we (Dylan and I) both to see this artwork! So sweet!

4. We arranged someone to bring him to the hospital that same day

We wanted him to be one of the first people to meet Dylan. They are, after all, brothers for life! So we made sure that he would be able to visit on that same day. I’m very grateful to my mother-in-law who brought Luke to the hospital with her.

As I mentioned in my previous entry, witnessing Luke sing and pat Dylan during their first meeting will be a memory that I’ll cherish forever.

5. He was assigned hospital duty on the last day

On the day that we were discharged, Luke came in early to “assist” us in everything we needed. He was more than eager to help out by handing me things from the suitcase and by helping daddy to buy food.

He was handsomely rewarded with fried chicken for all his hardwork! Haha!

Summary of Tips from Friends:

Here are some of the tips we got from our friends that we are trying to apply. As Dylan is only 3 weeks right now (at the time this article is being written,) we still can’t say for certain if these would “work.” But here’s to hoping (and a lot of praying!)

1. Avoid comparisons: What you think may be harmless comments could actually affect the way they view their new sibling. Avoid saying things like “The baby is such a good boy, not like you when you were a baby!”
2. Spend one-on-one time with the big sibling/s: Make sure they get quality time alone with you, without the baby. SO HARD FOR MOMS especially if you’re breastfeeding; I feel you! But it’s important for them to know they can still have your undivided attention, just like before. Yes, even if it’s just for 10 minutes or so. (And avoid talking about the baby when you’re spending one-on-one time!)
3. Tell everyone in your household to give lots of extra-attention to the big sibling, especially during the first week: The first few days are crucial because it’s a big adjustment to the home life the older sibling has been used to.